Death

A lot of my friends and close friends have recently lost loved ones. A friend of mine who i didn't talk to that often died in her pool last Friday. As I think about death by its definition it means the cessation of life and all associated processes. The end of an organism's existence as an independent entity from its environment and its return to an inert, nonliving state. But that doesn't explain what happens after death. My belief is that when you die your soul will come before God and you will be judged. If you had accepted Jesus into your heart all is forgiven and you move on to heaven. If not you are cast into a firey lake. My version is a little more blunt. I'm not sure exactly where in the Bible it explains this but its in there some where. Anyway, I was sent this email that was very touching to me and made me think about death in this way. Its a little long, but its worth while reading. Take some time to read this email and let your mind wrap around the idea. It will make you think. It certainly made me think.

A TEENAGER'S VIEW OF HEAVEN




17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. 'I wowed 'em,' he later told his father, Bruce. 'It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote..' It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. 'I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,' Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. 'I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.'





Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Father's Day

As Father's Day is coming on Sunday I'd like to take a moment to brag on my daddy. I miss those times whenever I had a doctor's appointment and my daddy would take me and get ice cream or a candy bar. We'd sit and talk about stuff. I don't know about the anybody else's dad, but I know I can talk to my dad about anything. And I'm glad that I can. I know that he will always be there for me. I remember those many times when I would go through a major breakup and I would ask my dad why boys act the way they do. He would help me pick up the pieces of my broken heart and put it back together. I know my daddy has been the number one guy in my life that has never left my side and never will. I love you so much daddy. Take the time to tell your dad how much you love him and that you appreciate everything he does.

Baccalaureate

Tonight I had the baccakaureate service for my senior class. For those of you that don't know what that is its a church service for the senior class where a special speaker that basically tells his/her testimony. Our speaker was Randy Chambers. He is the Area Director and Coaches Ministry Director for the DELMARVA Fellowship of CHRISTIAN Athletes. He is really an awesome guy. I think that his testimony touched someone tonight. You could really feel God's presence there tonight. I hope and pray that someone was moved by Mr. Chambers' testimony tonight. Well I just really felt the need to pray for a fellow student of mine. I'm very shy when it comes to my faith. But God gave me the courage to pray for that student and I hope that I that made an impact on her life. You know the students around her were laughing at me, but I know what I did was right. Me doing that moved a lot of people tonight. One of the pastors tonight said that when he was my age at the age of 16 he would never have enough courage to do what I did. I never knew that something so small as praying for someone would touch so many people. Those are my thoughts about that. Like them or not I am very proud of myself and so are many other people.

Spiritual Battles

I was watching Facing the Giants and I came across this clip that reminded me of something.




It remined me that a lot like the struggle that the boy was going through is what we go through with spiritual battles. The blind fold on his face was representing the fact that we go through battles blind. The boy on his back represents all the burdens that are on us and weigh us down. And a lot like the boy when we go through battles we cry out to God and say it hurts too much I can't go on it burns. God is the couch screaming in your ear you can do it give me your all do your best. And your saying I can't go on. But God is telling you and couching you through until you make it and when you make it to the end, you'll feel so much better. I want to leave you with this thought....are you going to go through this battle alone, are you going to quit when God is there to couch you to the end, are you giving him your all through the battle?

High School

As I look back on my high school experiences, most people would say that they would go back and do it again. Well I say no. I wouldn't go back for anyone. I'm glad to be graduating and loosing all these stupid rumors that people start. I would have changed some things though. I would have participated in more athletic activities. I would have joined more clubs. I would have made more friends then enemies. I would have made better choices. Will I miss high school? No! But I will miss some of the good memories that I made. Again give me some feed back.

Birthdays

My birthday was last month on the 2nd. My brother neglected to give me a present, but on my other brothers' birthday bought them both cd's. I had a dream the other night that my brother felt bad about not giving me a gift so he bought me a car. Since then i have persistently hounded him about not giving me a gift. Which reminded me.....my parents didn't give me a present either. I feel like I've been slummed. Pushed off to the side. And I'm supposed to be the only girl. Only girls get spoiled. What my question of the day is......WHERE'S MY PRESENTS!!!!! Give me some feedback people.

Prom Season

Ahhh prom season. My prom is tonight. Hope many of you people will do the right thing and not drink and drive. Actually not drinking at all will be the best. My boyfriend and I are planning to have a sober prom and have real fun. What I don't get about drinking and people say its a having a good time when it really isn't. This is how it goes: First you go out, drink as many hard liquors as you can, which from what i hear doesn't taste good at all, go in the bathroom heave until you throw up all the contents of your stomach, and wake up the next day with a pounding headache and feeling woosey all day. Now to me that doesnt sound like very much fun to me. Personally I don't like throwing up. but hey if that is what you do for fun thats cool with me. Go knock yourself out. I myself would like to remember my prom night and remember everything i did on my senior prom. If you have any comments please leave them. I would really appreciate that.